Demetri Martin. Show up to the gig, tell the jokes for an hour then you're done. Demetri, you're working at the White House.'. I think that's to avoid confusion, cause if there were you wouldn't know if someone was stuttering. Now I am good at everything. oranges." I think a lot of stuff I find funny is from day dreaming. 2007-01-14 23:02:11, Response to ", I think it would be cool if you were writing a ransom note on your computer, if the paper clip popped up and said, "Looks like you're writing a ransom note.

Demetri Martin. 'What kind?' Become a Supporter today and help make this dream a reality! When I was a kid, I always wanted to live in California because I liked skateboarding. Es más honesto. Need help? Demetri Martin. Then they're kind of hard to tell apart - especially if the human is kind of hairy. I like that name, 'Futon World.' She told me her dog's name. But if you have no other choice than to be in a row boat it's not as enjoyable; that's survival. The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades.

'Be nice to people in sneakers.'. I don't need a handle. It can be harmless too, but it just makes you a creep. Demetri Martin Comendiante Cuando estoy en mi computadora, no escribo "lol". Then I realized you can buy trophies. I haven't laughed so hard in forever.

One of the best comedy specials I've seen in a while. Swimming is a confusing sport, because sometimes you do it for fun, and other times you do it to not die. I saw a guy at a party wearing a leather jacket and I though, 'That is cool.'

Then I figured it out: 'Cool is all about leather sleeves.'. I think they named oranges before they named carrots. I really didn't progress since then, so the way I draw is the way I drew in sixth grade. There's a store in my neighborhood called Futon World. His parents also co-owned a Greek restaurant with his grandparents and uncle. I have fun acting, and I want to do more of it, and I want to direct my own movie. Show your friends!

See more ideas about Demetri martin, Martin, Make me laugh. And then I started again when I was in my twenties. on Pinterest. Employee of the month is a good example of how somebody can be both a winner and a loser at the same time. Demetri Martin. I didn't want to waste it so I just wrote 'Jesus' on it. And that is: when I am driving towards them in my car. Then, when the deadline comes closer, I can sift through the pile and know what I've got to work with. Demetri Martin.

2007-01-14 22:49:37. Pretty greedy gays. I am completely attracted to the idea of simplicity, or at least removing things that seem unnecessary when trying to get an idea out there. Okay, so, when I was a kid, definitely the drawings and the illustration. Demetri Martin. I type 'lqtm' - laugh quietly to myself. Demetri Martin. I love catching a snapshot of something that is just about to happen. I noticed that there are no B batteries. Response to

This guy got shot in the head, like, 27 times!

Person You're going to be fine.' Person ... Demetri Martin. I like women, but you can't always trust them. And as far as actors go, Peter Sellers is my all-time favorite. I think it would be cool if you were writing a ransom note on your computer, if the paper clip popped up and said, 'Looks like you're writing a ransom note. Could you leave me alone? Because it turns out, I do not own a garbage disposal. 92 funny quotes, stand-up comedy jokes, sayings and citations by comedian Demetri Martin. I used to play sports. She said, 'No.' —Demetri Martin. He has been married to Rachael Beame since June 1, 2012. ', I wanna make a jigsaw puzzle that's 40,000 pieces. Demetri Martin. Whenever I'm on my computer, I don't type "lol". Quote: Whenever I'm on my computer, I don't type 'lol'.

Whenever I'm on my computer, I don't type 'lol'. It's all those things that you really don't have to worry about with stand-up. I just want to thank Kevin, Turtle, and all my homies. Response to His father is a Greek Orthodox priest and his mom is a nutritionist. 'Dude, I am so stoked to win this Nobel Prize. For example, I was a White House intern the summer before I dropped out of law school. 'Super Busy Hospital. When I come across a thought that makes me laugh, I write it down. Demetri Martin. 'Yes, hello I'd like some b-batteries.' The digital camera is a great invention because it allows us to reminisce. Like, if someone just mailed you an apple you'd be like, 'huh?

It's funny who a group of people could just take refracted light. You're gonna be fine.'

and she said, "No." There's something about the '60s, it's not hard to like it. Feb 13, 2017 - Explore Nicci Martin's board "Demetri Martin", followed by 420 people on Pinterest. Instantly.

Then how does he eat?' I just know keeping track of what I'm doing and where I'm going is important to me. I'm not to scale.

To me, a lollipop is hard candy plus garbage. Person Person I'm always excited to try something I haven't done. You keep pushing and try to be disciplined and organized, so I find stuff and say, 'There's an idea I think that will will work in a book two years fro now'. NG Archive - The Problems of the Past, Today! Saying, 'I'm sorry' is the same as saying, ' I apologize.' Because it turns out, I do not own a garbage disposal. Quotes have been around for a long time and they always have been a simple but yet powerful way of expressing our feelings or changing our mood.

The point is... Don't lose your dinosaur.

Demetri Martin's quotes. If I ever saw an amputee getting hanged, I'd probably just start calling out letters. 'Dude, these are isotopes.' Help us to expand our database and send best quotes from Demetri Martin you know by using the form below. I think it's interesting that 'cologne' rhymes with 'alone.'. Most people will not argue that. [on producing an indie movie] It's humbling. Like if you put on flipflops, you're saying: 'Hope I don't get chased today.' I don't mind bumper stickers. ', My favorite fruit is grapes. Then I said, 'Does he bite?'

I like that name, "Futon World." I was walking in the park and this guy waved at me. Stand up is really fun because if I think of a joke or a funny idea, then I can just go and tell some people and if they laugh, they laugh right away. Demetri Martin.

But long story short, I didn't start doing stand-up because I wanted to have a TV show or be an actor or even wanted to write sketch comedy.

'Grapes: The Fruit of Hope. I said, 'I am. Another term for balloon is bad breath holder. If I ever saw an amputee being hanged, I would just yell out letters. I like fruit baskets because it gives you the ability to mail someone a piece of fruit without appearing insane. 2007-01-15 19:49:21. I fell down the stairs for an hour and a half. Because one time I was riding the escalator and I tripped. Some of them are big liars, like this one woman I met who had a dog. Demetri Martin. Response to The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades.